Hey everyone -

It's probably been pretty evident that my blog has been on hiatus for the past few months! Since we're expecting our first in just about twelve weeks (Austyn Blakeley Chappell - due July 24th!), I have slowed down a bit so that I can better enjoy a season of life that I won't get back. God has moved throughout my entire pregnancy and revealed things to me about being a worshipful creation - things I might not have had the opportunity to understand without carrying this child. However, these will come up at a later time. :)

For now, I'll be posting tidbits of helpful insights for those involved in the worship ministry. They'll come in the form of short devotionals, scripture references, and of course a few technical insights here and there. And YES - I do plan on wrapping up my series on "perfectionism." :)

I've included an article I stumbled upon from worshiptraining.com regarding the role of the background vocalist in a worship setting. I found its pointers to be very useful, and something to which I wish all vocalists would be more attuned!

Click here to enjoy!

ambition [side-blog]

Nikki Fletcher of Worship Central shares her powerful insights on two different types of ambition...

perfectionism vs biblical excellence: identifying the lie

Ephesians 1:6-7 In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the richness of his grace..." (ESV)

In my most recent blog post, we explored symptoms of perfectionism  for better discernment of ourselves and others.  We also started to look into what drives a perfectionist to the extremes they can often exhibit.  Since we've already learned to identify the problem, today we identify the lie of perfectionism.

Let's take the first step by honestly searching our hearts -  it's there you'll find that we as humans tend to define the "ideal standard" by our own hands (James 2:1-7, Luke 16:15, Jeremiah 9: 23, 24).  It is a product of this world that we patch together a human archetype and justify it as righteous, whether it includes perfect looks, unrivaled wit, an untouchable musical ability, or athletic prowess Olympian in might.  It isn't just a bunch of random sources that comprise our ideal standard, either - just take a look at advertising, for example.  Comments from others, implications we process throughout our upbringing as children, and comparing ourselves to others can also affect our idea of "perfect."  We must be careful that the pursuit to better ourselves does not cross into this realm of idolatry.  Certainly it is healthy to want to continuously improve, but when excellence becomes self-exalting, we must return to our center in Jesus Christ. 

Seems like it's pretty exhausting to have to meet the standards a perfectionist sets, huh?  However, when caught up in this self-centered mess, a perfectionist will relentlessly pursue their aforementioned personal ideal.  It's not all that surprising to me - and here's why: Satan is able to convince even the strongest of people that it's the only way to prove to yourself, to others, and to God that you have worth.  

NEWSFLASH: YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO "EARN" GOD'S LOVE.

He loves us regardless of our actions and circumstances, our fears and failures.  He looks past our faults, our mistakes, and our ugliness.  And he could certainly care less about our imperfections.

Romans 8:38-39 says "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, not anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

If God's love can endure all that, how could we ever convince ourselves that our self-defined imperfections can cause him to stop loving us?  There is no reason for us to be afraid of vulnerability or failure, because we are loved as children of God.  He does not withhold his love from us when we fall below a standard!

Once we let this truth sink in, there's honestly only one way to respond.  We respond with worship and praise of the Holy One, the Giver of Life and the Lover of Our Souls.  We respond by choosing to accept His love in order to gain eternal life with our Saviour. 

God whispered something to me yesterday morning, way before before I ever sat down to begin this blog post.  He said: "Daughter, if salvation depended on your inadequate self-righteousness, you'd be out of luck.  I sent my son, Jesus Christ, to die for you because you are worth it...  for I so loved this world."

I get chills as I close my eyes and meditate on a love so palatable, so overcoming that it eclipses all of my self-centeredness.  And I pray that you do, too - because it's in that sweet surrender that you'll find rest and deliverance in the arms of Jesus. 

PRAYER FOR TODAY: God, thank you for revealing to me how easily my heart is deceived by the muck of this world.  Thank you for unmasking the lies of the enemy.  I am so exhausted from hiding beneath this mask and trying to maintain false pretenses.  If I'm honest with myself, I never truly desired this state in the first place.  All I wanted was to know that I'm valuable, that I'm worth it, and that I'm loved.  Forgive me for the times I have sought that elsewhere.  God, You have uniquely designed me, all of my failures and imperfections included.  I am humbled and amazed by Your love - You sent Your son to die on a cross for ME!  Help me to receive and return that love by walking daily in Your sweet presence and becoming more like Jesus.  Amen.

Next time - "A Pursuer of Excellence."  See you then!

- Emily

A short video commentary on creative perfectionists...

perfectionism vs biblical excellence - a perfect diagnosis

1 John 1:8 - If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. (ESV)

Part one of my first blog series finds us trying to identify perfectionism through typical characteristics.  As you'll understand a little more clearly after reading through this blog post, one of the hardest things for one to do is to actually point it out in oneself.  

Unsure as to whether you're pursuing faultless ideals?  I've provided the self-test below, written by Pat Berg at Bob Jones University:

YES or NO...
 

1. Do you often avoid trying new things because you do not want others

to see that you are not good at those things?

2. Do you usually think you should have done things better?

3. Do you put things off because it will take too much time to do them

perfectly?

4. Do you repeatedly re-live mistakes you have made in public?

5. Do you dislike the idea that you may be just "average" in some area of

your life?

6. Do you often feel guilty because you do not accomplish the things that

you see others doing?

7. Do you feel that you have no purpose in life unless you can make a

spectacular performance or contribution in some way?

8. Do you often find faults in other people or in their work?

9. Do you put off tasks because you do not know exactly how to do them

perfectly?

10. Do you find it hard to believe compliments because you don't meet

your own standards?

11. Do you miss out on the joy of living today because you are so busy

worrying about whether you will be able to do all the things you are

committed to in the future?

12. Do you feel that you won't really be able to get God's special affection

until you "shape up" and meet higher standards for prayer, Bible

reading, devotions, and witnessing?

13. Do you feel that keeping your appearance and home immaculate is

important to keeping the approval of others?

I don't know about you, but simply glancing through that list of questions is incredibly convicting for me.  My bet is that for a lot of my fellow creative people - musicians, writers, artists, et cetera - it's also very self-exposing.

The "trap of perfectionism" is most strongly characterized by a few key traits that tend to show a common, uniting pattern.  Although one might not exhibit all of the below, you'll probably notice at least two in someone who suffers from perfectionism to some degree.  Note that all seem to fall under the grand umbrella of an amazingly debilitating fear of failure.  Let's explore:

• An "all or nothing" attitude.  Time after time, she sets unrealistic goals, and when they are not achieved, she takes a complete 180 in the opposite direction.  How many people have you known who have started a diet, only to "fall off of the bandwagon" with a bite of something sweet two weeks later and console themselves by burying their faces in a plate of cookies?  In this case, it's all about extremes.  Black and white thinking.  This is why we see people in creative fields oftentimes completely lay down things they love doing because they feel like they can't be as good as they should be.
•  Success amnesia.  Boy, do I have experience with this one!  A perfectionist will tend to zero in on faults and failures to such a degree that they will literally forget any moments of success, however recent.  Imagine someone standing in front of you, then suddenly flipping on a giant flood light held in their hands.  You're blinded and unable to see that person, as they are washed out by the intensity of the light.  That's how perfectionists operate - they minimize the positives (ability to see the person) and maximize the negatives (the blinding light), crippled by utter regret.
• Fear of losing control.  It's perhaps a perfectionist's worst nightmare.  This trait can so overwhelm that one might develop a list of rules by which they live their lives.  They will tend to gravitate toward positions of control in order to ensure their own emotional stability.  Unfortunately, this can create great strain in interpersonal relationships as that person may attempt to impose their expectations on others, consciously or subconsciously.  
• Inability to take criticism.  Many perfectionists are unable to take criticism, however carefully it may be delivered.  They will seem to emotionally crumble even when constructive advice is offered.  A typical response will be charged with defensive words and sometimes even an attempt to place blame on someone else.  Although this type of reply can be angering to another, keep in mind that this is a protective device, a way to shield oneself from rejection and disapproval. 

What types of behaviors, if any, do you recognize in your life?  Even if you're not someone who suffers from extreme perfectionism, a moment spent in self-examination can reveal some parts of your spirit that may require a bit more reflection.  And despite the seemingly hopeless, empty feeling that can develop from long-term perfectionism... there is a way out. 

PRAYER FOR TODAY: God - there are some of us that desperately need to dig up some of the deep-rooted behaviors to which we've been tethered for so very long.  We're so tired of trying to keep the lead in this rat race.  We've refused to acknowledge the hurt it's causing us and You.  God, we know how much it harms our relationship with You when we attempt to hide our imperfections, our nakedness.  We ask for Your honest discernment of our hearts and ask You to destroy that which we've allowed mankind and ourselves to build up.  Do away with the facade and help us to recognize areas in which we have been unable to relinquish control to You.  We love You and desire an honest, authentic relationship with You.  Amen.

Next time - "identifying the lie" - understanding why perfectionists feel the way they do and pointing out the underlying cause.

perfectionism vs biblical excellence - a blog series

Picture these scenarios:

• A student beats himself up because, despite sacrificing his need for social interaction for long hours of studying for that looming midterm, he scores a 93 rather than a perfect 100.
• A senior-level office manager lies awake in her bed at night scared for her job security for no tangible reason other than a minor miscalculation on a financial report.  The year-end projection calculation was off by 2%, and her supervisor had qualified it with a simple but generally positive statement in the response email: "Great job on your bullet points - we only found one mistake, so please correct when you can.  Thanks, and keep up the hard work!"
• Trying to ignore her rumbling stomach, a college co-ed rolls stares at a photograph of a woman in a magazine who is thin, lithe...perfect.  Like every morning before for the past three months, and every morning moving forward for the next year, she renews her "strength" to skip each meal with the empty promise of perfection that stares back at her. 

Do any of these situations sound familiar to you?  I know I can identify with all three, as I'll admit that I'm an individual whom has struggled with the pursuit of perfection my entire life. 

Perfectionism is a subject that's almost painful to approach because of how ironically exposing it actually is.  At the same time, for those involved in creative fields - specifically, worship arts -  I feel that it's absolutely vital to explore how perfectionism and the idea of biblical excellence contrast.  As a matter of fact, I believe it's so important that I'm commiting the next few weeks to blogging specifically about it!

Keep an eye out for part one - "A Perfect Diagnosis" - where we discover how to identify perfectionism in oneself and in others.  I'll see you there!

Emily

sunday setlist devotional 10.16.11

made me glad - miriam webster
mighty to save - reuben morgan, ben fielding
you'll come - brooke fraser
our god - chris tomlin

We all make promises. Most all of the time, from the very bottom of our hearts, we intend to keep them. However, it's an inevitable fact of life that there will be times we end up disappointing others. Surprised? Welcome to humanity.

My church, newhope, recently established a campus that meets weekly at the North Carolina Correctional Institute for Women in Raleigh. As one of the worship leaders for newhope, my husband Dustin helps to schedule and coordinate the services and worship for each time the women meet. He has also volunteered himself to serve with this ministry once a month and has asked me to lead worship alongside him on a regular rotation. My answer, of course, was yes. Who wouldn't seize the incredible opportunity not only to reach out to women from all sorts of walks, but with their spouse at the same time?

It wasn't until the day before the service that I had realized a) my work week had more in store for me than I had originally planned, meaning I would not be able to get off early b) the service at the prison, which is 30-45 minutes away, would start at 6:30 pm while I typically get off work at 6:00 pm and c) even if I raced with the speed of God's angels to Raleigh, the guards probably would not let me in past 6:00 pm.

Let me be the first to say that this was a mistake of my own causing - a failure to review my schedule for the upcoming week. And the disappointment I felt in myself completely reflected that! I had promised my husband that I would attend with him, and confirmed it multiple times - yet here I was the very day before with the inability to follow through.

This week, I'm scheduled to serve in our coffeehouse style worship service, and our set list (listed above) completely spoke to the pain I felt in letting down someone as important to me as my husband and, more importantly, my God.  Considering the lyrics and scriptural basis behind each song reminded me that as humans, we so often fall short of our promises not only to our loved ones, but also to our Father in Heaven.  How many times have we resolved that we would never say another curse word, never think another resentful thought about a family member, or act out of jealousy toward someone?  I would offer that the answer is "many times." And yet "many times" have we also failed in such endeavors.

The incredible thing is that although our heart and flesh may fail, God never will (Psalm 73:26).  That truth resounds deeply within my spirit and reminds me of His everlasting faithfulness.  Our efforts will never measure up, but God's steadfastness shows unequaled.  Should you choose to take notice, His promises are renewed daily (Lamentations 3:23).

Let me share with you some snippets of the lyrics that really stuck with me:

"As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
As certain as Your word endures..."

"So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures;
Fill my life again..."

"He has delivered me from all fear
He has set my feet upon a rock..."

"Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There's no one like You
None like You..."

God's enduring promise is to restore us through His splendor and His son, Jesus Christ.  Despite our brokenness and our inequities, He will deliver us from our pain and see us through to a glorious end.

- Emily